I Call Hoax Joaquin – Crazy Watch 2009

Remember when Joaquin started his unadvised “Rap” career?  Well I have been of the opinion for a bit that it is pretty much a hoax.  Others have thought so as well, whereas Phoenix retorts with the arguement that people are “jealous”.  Yeeeeeahhhh…

Joaquin, or as I saw on Videogum — “Whoaquin Carex” recently showed up on David Letterman acting out of it.  Seriously if this is a stunt it was funny for like five minutes.  Now it is just turning into self-important shit.  Does he think he is Andy Kaufman?  Has he been smelling all the sanctimonious BS that Gwyneth “GOOP” Paltrow is tossing around?  Dave makes a couple of good quips but other than that Joaquin is getting pretty effin stale.

Watch the clip from David Letterman after the cut…Bah-Jow!

Who Knew? Joaquin is a Shitty Rapper — Plus He Falls Off Stage…Already – Crazy Watch 2009

I am actually kind of shocked that this happened so fast.  It isn’t quite as impressive or hilarious as Katy Perry’s spill, but Joaquin has already fallen off a stage.  He couldn’t even justify it with a bad-ass performance.  At least the fall was entertaining.

Check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check out Joaquin’s “rapping skills” after the cut.

Joaquin Phoenix Raps? – Crazy Watch 2009

So Joaquin is really going to leave show biz (at least for a while) and peruse a misguided career in music.  Ok, whatever, we know he is a bit unbalanced, but when I think of Joaquin Phoenix doing music I think of him waxing poetic with an acoustic guitar or at the very most rocking it up with that dirty homeless musician look he has going.  Neither of these options are in his plans.  He wants to be a rapper.  Really Joaquin?  Really?

To top off this train wreck sundae, Casey Affleck is going to film Phoenix’s misadventure for a documentary.  This movie is going to be the most hilarious and tragic film since Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The Hollywood Reporter says:

Phoenix is embarking on a new path as a rapper, with an album to be produced by Sean Combs. He is scheduled to make his first public performance Friday at a Las Vegas club, which will officially kick off Affleck’s shoot.

Source: The Blemish

Is Joaquin Phoenix High?

Apparently, Joaquin announced pretty randomly that he was retiring from Hollywood.  He did so to a red carpet interviewer from Extra.  Claaaaassy.

Ok, seriously…retire, do what you want to do.  Live out your dreams to be a big music icon, whatever.  Just don’t announce it when you are obviously on narcotics. That isn’t really asking for much.  I mean, even if he is just on Ambient or some bullshit, he is on something (See: Above — Sometimes he can’t even spell his own effin name).  If I sound indigent, it is only because this is so trite and so dramatic.  He could have just…you know, stopped acting for a while, or work on music on the side.  That would have worked.  Plus what is up with Casey Affleck?  Acting all like, “Didn’t you hear? He put out an album.”  Neither of them came off well for me in this craziness.

Source – Just Jared

Watch the Extra clip after the cut.